Gianfranco Martinez told The New York Post, “porn completely ruined my life.”
“I wasn’t really motivated to actually pursue a real relationship or even talk to women because I was just getting my fix [through porn]. “It was impacting me socially, it was impacting me in my relationships.”
And it was also keeping him from being able to maintain an erection in real life as he encountered erectile dysfunction when in intimate situations in college.
“It was pretty embarrassing,” the Texan recalled. “When I would go back to my porn I had no problems, but every time I would try something [with a girl], it just didn’t work. I didn’t know what was going on.”
Research conducted in a 2020 study showed that 23% of men under 35 – those in their peak sexual years – who were regular porn viewers suffered from erectile dysfunction in real-life intimacy.
Chris
Chris, a 22-year-old college student who wanted to keep his last name confidential due to feeling embarrassed, has been in a similar situation.
“I feel like the porn industry took my ability to love earnestly, and that’s the most despairing feeling I’ve ever felt,” Chris told New York Post.
When he was 11, he encountered porn for the first time in his hockey team’s locker room and subsequently used the internet to look for more.
“It was so intense, I had to search for a more vanilla video than what they were showing me on the front page of PornHub — most of the things disgusted me,” he recalled. “But I’ll never forget the dopamine high that came the first time I watched it.”
Chris revealed that, in a very short amount of time, looking at porn had become like a part of his everyday routine and that he would do this at least once daily. And it seemingly wasn’t an issue until six years later when he experienced sex for the first time while in a relationship at 17.
“In my first serious relationship, I really wanted to be fulfilled sexually by the woman I loved, but I needed porn to be aroused and felt so guilty for it,” Chris said. “My mind had been so captivated by needing intense porn at all times to maintain arousal.
“Even if I deeply cared about the woman I was having sex with and loved her in every sense possible, her body was not enough,” Chris said.
“It got to the point where the most beautiful woman could walk into the room right now and tell me she wants to sleep with me, and it would do nothing for me.”
With modern technology becoming increasingly pervasive, it is no surprise that researchers have determined a link between compulsive porn watching and erectile dysfunction in real-world relationships.
Dr. Weiss
Over the span of 25 years, Dr. Rob Weiss, a certified clinical sexologist and psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, has seen a drastic rise in cases of sex addiction. He runs a Los Angeles-area treatment center for sex addicts and insists between 17-58% of men who identify themselves as heavy or compulsive porn users experience difficulties with communication and intimacy in their real-life partnerships.
Scientifically, what causes porn-induced erectile dysfunction?
Weiss noted that consuming too much porn causes people to become desensitized to sexual stimuli.
“Porn addiction can lead to desensitization to sexual stimuli, which can decrease arousal and lead to difficulties achieving and maintaining an erection,” Weiss told New York Post. “If my primary source of arousal is constantly looking at 50 images a day or 1,000 images a day, I no longer become that interested on an individual basis.”
According to a 2020 study in The Journal of Urology, there is a strong link between porn usage and how long it takes men to reach orgasm during intercourse with a partner. And more porn use was also associated with reported dissatisfaction with real-world sex.
How much is too much, and how are men exposed?
The study revealed that men who rarely or never had trouble climaxing with a partner only watched around one hour of porn weekly. But, those who experienced difficulty getting an orgasm most of the time watched porn an average of 92 minutes weekly – and for those that encountered constant problems, it was 111 minutes per week or more.
A lot of progress has been made in understanding the phenomena of porn-induced erectile dysfunction in young men, according to Weiss, and he’s providing therapy and aid to many individuals struggling with this issue.
“It’s still a very new thing, but we have thousands and thousands and thousands of men saying, ‘I’m not getting erections, and I don’t know what to do.’”
Common Sense Media poll found that kids typically first come across porn at 12 years old and that 58% of pre-teens and teens who access it, stumble upon it accidentally.
“It distorted my view on what the real thing actually is,” an interviewee told New York Post. “When you’re inexperienced, your brain can literally rewire itself to think a video of two random people is the real thing.”
Is there a cure for porn-induced erectile dysfunction?
Men who have quit pornography altogether have been known to overcome their sexual problems.
“What is often the case with these people is that, when you take the porn away in a reasonable period of time, they begin to get aroused by individual situations and relationships again,” Dr. Weiss explained.
With studies of the effects of porn on physical and mental health becoming more and more frequent, over a dozen states have declared it a public emergency. In fact, Louisiana has implemented strong restrictions on internet access, requiring citizens to verify their age before accessing certain websites. This is part of their effort to prevent the misuse of the internet by minors.
Parents’ roles
But, because porn is still so highly accessible these days and is largely unregulated, Weiss insists that parents should be the first line of defense when it comes to protecting young men from porn’s potential dangers.
“Parents have a responsibility to teach their children about human sexuality and porn,” Weiss said. “I think they also have a responsibility, especially before age 16, to block and to track porn use. I wouldn’t let my kid go to a drug dealer’s house, so why would I give my kid permission to look at as much porn as they want?”
Peer groups
Also, online support peer groups like No Fap are gaining traction. These types of forums are specifically aimed at young men and provide a great platform for them to help one another.
To sum it up
“You’re 11- or 12 years old and naturally enticed by sex,” an interviewee told New York Post. “The problem is not you. The problem is the porn.”
